I think I’m too uptight a parent. My kids have never gotten into catsup, or Vaseline, or diaper cream, or Triple Paste and smeared it everywhere. The permanent markers are carefully stashed away from little fingers, and we’ve had “talks” as they’ve gotten older about “parent” things and “kid” things. The last time the youngest found “parent scissors” lying around, she picked them up correctly and safely, trotted up the stairs, and turned them over to me, as I sat at my desk in the bedroom we converted to a home office.

As they’ve gotten older, though, we’ve started to relax a bit. We’ll occasionally find a washable-marker scribbled kid. We’ve stopped asking every 30 minutes if they need bathroom breaks. We actually sit in the other room as they bathe, doors open, ears listening for trouble. The hard years are over, we think; it’s time to relax.

A recent planned-to-be-rushed morning turned into a relaxing morning at home; lazy day of laundry and laughter, keeping our PJs on instead of racing to swim class, exercise class, play dates at the YMCA. As I sat at my computer, catching up on correspondence, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet and a voice announcing to the world, “I need to go potty!” The toilet seat in the next room clanked and I smiled.

Phew, I thought. I’m so glad we’re at this stage, where the kids are finally really all self-contained and trained. Then she added, “There’s poop on my legs.”

And there was. And on her pajama pants. And on her toes, her fingers …. Straight to the tub, over her protests that she didn’t want a shower. Wipe wipe wipe, then back to the toilet to finish up while I filled the tub with soapy warm water. Protests that she didn’t want a bath, she wanted a shower. Plunk – she’s in the tub.

Then the oldest child came running in. “There’s poop on the floor in my bathroom!” Is it yours? “Yes, I just said that it’s my bathroom!” (Stifled Laughter) I mean, is it your poop? “No, it’s my sister’s.” Okay, climb in the tub.

I don’t need to get into the details of poop on just about every surface of the room (the ceiling would have not surprised me – but I’ve got to give her credit for trying) but I do kind of wish now that we’d gone through this with diaper cream instead ….

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