When I linked this article to my sister earlier this fall, our response was about the same. No way. No way. Neither of us could figure out why on earth Southwest would do something so inexplicably insane. How many of the people making these decisions have ever tried to haul two or more children under the age of five, and their gear, alone, on a simple flight, or even a complex one? Two kids, two carseats, bottled breast milk, and a laptop … oh, and stroller and diaper bags through security. Plus our checked luggage (though not to the gate).

Alone? Cross-country? No. I’ll take another airline, thanks. I’m not about to haul all of that, get a “C” card for checking in last (my name and computers are not friends), only to spend 30 minutes boarding last, fighting for a spot to place my diaper bag, trying to find a couple of seats together anywhere on the plane without inconveniencing the other ninety people on the flight.

Turns out, though, that pre-boarding isn’t going away. You can pre-board to your heart’s content. However, there are … conditions.

First off, you can pay more! Second off, you can … pay more.

Southwest has always been a low-frills cheap-ol airline. In all my years of flying, when I had a choice, I generally chose Southwest. I packed a lunch, enjoyed the ride. I stalked exit-row seats and stretched out. When I had kids, I still used Southwest more often than not because it was easier and I still enjoyed the no-frills approach.

Then all the airlines started paring back. Pay for food, pay for drinks. Southwest started expanding their routes (yay) but all the airline prices were starting to equalize for the no-refunds, far-planned flights I took. But the no pre-boarding thing put them, finally, on my no-fly list for traveling with kids (not that I do much without them anymore).

I got my frill on the company bill …

First off, they’ve introduced the business class ticket. You can pay to pre-board by paying a higher price for your ticket. Unless you’re running a company that is extremely strict on fees and expenses, this is a no-brainer; you pay it and get on with priority (if you really want to). But the price might not actually be higher - just classed differently for other reasons; to get more big business. I don’t know about other companies, but when I recently helped use a corporate portal to book one of our family’s recent business trips, Southwest was not an option.

And corporate travel (and the prices they pay) help cover the cost of when us cheapskates fly. Maybe this action is to gain Southwest entree into larger corporate and business markets.

Gives a whole new meaning to the term “penalty weight”.

Forget “no fat chicks”. Southwest doesn’t mind. Of course, you’ll have to pay a little more, buying two seats. But according to their website page addressing Customers of Size, if you do buy the two seats, you are then encouraged to pre-board to get the seats you want, discreetly. But if the flight is not oversold, you can then get a refund for one of the two tickets you purchased.

Heck, I’m fat. Obese, actually (though I’m working on it). I can (and do) still fit into one seat, but I could, in theory, force myself to fit into two seats. So I’d … buy two seats for me, one for each kid, get on the flight in pre-board for my Customer of Size status, then get a refund for the ticket of excess. Pre-board for free, after you discount the amount of time spent Rube-Goldberging their system.

Or I could just fly someone else next time I travel. Decisions, decisions.

Well, no matter what you choose, have a safe traveling and holiday season.