I toyed with the idea, when we closed on our house, three years ago this week, running for President of our Home Ogres Association. I never followed through with it, being busy and working way too far from my new home, and like many of my ideas, I let it slide away and didn’t bother myself aside from the monthly fee, occasional meeting, and rare letter dinging me for one thing or another.

Letter number three arrived sometime earlier this month, and I hope to take the time tomorrow to grab a thick black marker and fax their letter back, telling to take their violation and shove it up their … association.

Letter number one was simple. Mow and weed and water your lawn. They had no way of knowing my lawn was dead because of a sprinkler problem - I simply had to fix it. Done.

Letter number two was simple. Prune the <s>weeds</s> palm trees. Done.

Letter number three is not so simple. It looks simple. Bring them a shrubbery and plant it around the electrical boxes in my yard. But it’s not.

  1. The group that made this sheet pan of cookie cutter houses was responsible for originating shrubbery.
  2. The HOA and management company have managed to ding me at least two other times for other violations.
  3. There aren’t any electrical boxes in my yard. There are a few next to my yard, but they are definably not on my property.
  4. Not paying for it. See points one, two, and three.

We’ll see how it goes. So many reasons to dislike HOAs - if we ever move again, I certainly do not want one. I’m sure some folks have a reason to like them, but I’m not a fan.